My neighbor's friend's cat did a PX90 and got ript abz! Should I do it, too?

Short answer: Sure.

Short answer from a Californian: Sure, brah.

But to really answer a question like this, we must first establish if you are cat-like enough to get similar results.

-If something threatening entered a room, could you sprint out of the room in under .8 seconds?

-Do you mind sleeping on people's faces?

-Can you lick the back of your own shoulder?

-If you only had toenails and no fingernails, would you instinctively use your legs to downkick an assailant/someone who tried to rub your tum tum?

For all intensive/intents and purposes, 2 out of 4 "yes" answers will suffice, and you are deemed cat-like enough to do a 90XP.

"Cool, brah, how does the X90P work? Do I crunch on floor or do a twister lunge?"

Great question. P90X (which stands for Power Series 90 Extreme) is a series of 12 DVD workouts that you can do in the comfort (which can actually feel quite awkward) of your own home. It involves a mix of bodyweight exercises (push-ups, pull-ups, dips) with some weight lifting and cardio routines.

The host is an annoyingly quotable brah by the name of Tony Horton. You will hate him, then love him, then hate him, and then come to accept him. I may or may not have stolen this principle from the grieving process.

The reason it works is because it's a 90 day program. That's like how long summer break from school should be. Damn school systems and their "No Child Left Behind" nonsense trying to shorten the summer. But I'll save that for another post! It's based on something called "muscle confusion," but if I tried to explain that to you you'd get confused. Oh snap, a Catch 22!

It will work for you if you stick with it. It will not work for you if you do not stick with it. Damn, that's some good writing.

Before you do it, borrow the first three discs from your neighbor's friend and try it out. And that's cool cause like you probably don't even have to give them back cause you never see that guy. The only time you actually do see him is at the Brooksider at 2:00 AM on random weekends. What are you doing at the Brooksider at that time of night? What are you, 19? Don't you know that nothing good ever happens at the Brooksider at that time of night?

No cats were harmed during the writing of this post. Although I think I may have strained something while testing out the difficulty of licking the back of my shoulder.